One of my very close friends called me in the morning and instead of the peppy 'Good mooorrrninggg' I got big time gyaan on how I never inform about events that happen in my life, about my life being a very big secret, the 'real me’ is still unknown, my dreams and aspirations are never divulged...etc etc. I was trying to figure out what was going on. All of that sounded partially true and partially biased. I was trying to figure out what triggered this cataclysmic realisation of what our friendship meant to each other after about 9 years (and counting I hope) of being friends. A little later I found out that she had discovered my blog! Blogger has put me into trouble!
The major complaint was that whenever she asks about what’s happening in my life I always reply with ‘Nothing much. Pretty much the same’. I never seem to have anything to say even though there’s so much going on. She claimed herself to be a failure as a friend and declared that she is of no use in my life…even quoting examples from Hindi movies! I just couldn’t reason with her and left it at that. I was on my way to work when this happened and had time to think about it.
Everybody has different circles of friends for different things. I could categories my friends into 4 groups. 1. Best friends (anywhere-anything types) 2. Career / work related friends 3. Activity friends. 4. Virtual friends (Phone/chat/blog)….pretty much self explanatory. Some friends might be under multiple categories but they always undergo suitable transitions when they jump circles. I have many friends who are/were colleagues whom I go to movies with or go hiking with. These are guys who behave according to the situation we are in. I really hate it when the career / work friends become activity friends without undergoing the transition. These are people who, even while sitting by a moon lit lake, looking at a full moon and a billion stars end up cribbing about work or some promotion or an exam or stuff like that and spoil the fun for the entire gang. I have never met some of the friends in the virtual category and probably never will and yet we know so much about each other and conversely there are people who know me a bit too well and yet leave an ‘appropriate’ comment on my blog.
Back to the original point of argument… How much of your life can you share with friends…any one friend in particular? Is it possible for one person to know you completely as a person? Some friends have entrusted me with a lot of intricate details about their lives, especially from the virtual friend and Best friends category. For some it is an outlet to vent out their frustrations, anger or share happiness/sorrows. For others it’s to ask for advice or think out aloud while I’m listening. But these are specific aspects only that friends in specific circles talk about. The ideal solution would be to find one person who can fit into all these roles and then we’ll know each other well. Is that good? Well…. It’s pathetic. Where’s the fun in that?
Now, this friend of mine is one of the rare gems who spreads happiness everywhere she goes and narrates almost her entire day to me. I’ve literally lived her life in parallel for the last 9 years. But she doesn’t get to know what’s happening in my life to that extent. I sub consciously filter things which interests or concerns her; something that I do to everybody. We enjoy each other’s company immensely and have a ball of a time whenever we hook up. Our frequencies match to a large extent. So all this while she might have been under the impression that she’s aware of what’s happening with me and I have no other levels or dimensions of thought. But the stuff she found on my blog gave her a collective insight of me. Disaster! (This is why initially I was a lil hesitant to post on a public domain.)
More interestingly another friend of mine has complained many times that even though I know him inside out, he hardly knows me. That’s a conundrum! Maybe I have issues trusting people with things in my life or maybe I think it’s not necessary for others to know what’s happening with me unless it is important. Or maybe it’s a typical Taurean trait! I donno what it is…but that’s me.
I wonder is it just me or are there others who give out info about their lives on a need to know basis only.
Cheers!
I don't even know what to call this post. I just proof-read it….Quite lengthy and booooring :(
The major complaint was that whenever she asks about what’s happening in my life I always reply with ‘Nothing much. Pretty much the same’. I never seem to have anything to say even though there’s so much going on. She claimed herself to be a failure as a friend and declared that she is of no use in my life…even quoting examples from Hindi movies! I just couldn’t reason with her and left it at that. I was on my way to work when this happened and had time to think about it.
Everybody has different circles of friends for different things. I could categories my friends into 4 groups. 1. Best friends (anywhere-anything types) 2. Career / work related friends 3. Activity friends. 4. Virtual friends (Phone/chat/blog)….pretty much self explanatory. Some friends might be under multiple categories but they always undergo suitable transitions when they jump circles. I have many friends who are/were colleagues whom I go to movies with or go hiking with. These are guys who behave according to the situation we are in. I really hate it when the career / work friends become activity friends without undergoing the transition. These are people who, even while sitting by a moon lit lake, looking at a full moon and a billion stars end up cribbing about work or some promotion or an exam or stuff like that and spoil the fun for the entire gang. I have never met some of the friends in the virtual category and probably never will and yet we know so much about each other and conversely there are people who know me a bit too well and yet leave an ‘appropriate’ comment on my blog.
Back to the original point of argument… How much of your life can you share with friends…any one friend in particular? Is it possible for one person to know you completely as a person? Some friends have entrusted me with a lot of intricate details about their lives, especially from the virtual friend and Best friends category. For some it is an outlet to vent out their frustrations, anger or share happiness/sorrows. For others it’s to ask for advice or think out aloud while I’m listening. But these are specific aspects only that friends in specific circles talk about. The ideal solution would be to find one person who can fit into all these roles and then we’ll know each other well. Is that good? Well…. It’s pathetic. Where’s the fun in that?
Now, this friend of mine is one of the rare gems who spreads happiness everywhere she goes and narrates almost her entire day to me. I’ve literally lived her life in parallel for the last 9 years. But she doesn’t get to know what’s happening in my life to that extent. I sub consciously filter things which interests or concerns her; something that I do to everybody. We enjoy each other’s company immensely and have a ball of a time whenever we hook up. Our frequencies match to a large extent. So all this while she might have been under the impression that she’s aware of what’s happening with me and I have no other levels or dimensions of thought. But the stuff she found on my blog gave her a collective insight of me. Disaster! (This is why initially I was a lil hesitant to post on a public domain.)
More interestingly another friend of mine has complained many times that even though I know him inside out, he hardly knows me. That’s a conundrum! Maybe I have issues trusting people with things in my life or maybe I think it’s not necessary for others to know what’s happening with me unless it is important. Or maybe it’s a typical Taurean trait! I donno what it is…but that’s me.
I wonder is it just me or are there others who give out info about their lives on a need to know basis only.
Cheers!
I don't even know what to call this post. I just proof-read it….Quite lengthy and booooring :(
8 comments:
Well the post was certainly not booring!
This friend you mention in the post...is it our only common friend by any chance?
Bingo!!
It remainded me of the lenghty tea-time discussion we had about friendship and different circle of friends at FC Road,Pune !
Post was not boring . Definitely there are others who give out info about their lives on a need to know basis only and there are people who talk a lot about their personal life but still have lot of things unshared.
I am not sure will we get any one in our life to share "everything" about our life.
Another Taurian,
Some of the ideas are from that discussion we had exactly 1 year ago. :) Those were some really good times at Pune.
I am seriously thinking on start blogging now !
Pls do... Should be fun to read what's running in your mind ;)
adakke bareetilla guruvE
Not bad someone other than me share the same thoughts about you...
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