If you are Indian, or of Indian descent, I must preface this post with a clear warning: you are not going to like what I have to say. My criticisms may be very hard to stomach. But consider them as the hard words and loving advice of a good friend. Someone who's being honest with you and wants nothing from you. These criticisms apply to all of India except Kerala and the places I didn't visit, except that I have a feeling it applies to all of India , except as I mentioned before, Kerala. Lastly, before anyone accuses me of Western Cultural Imperialism, let me say this: if this is what India and Indians want, then hey, who am I to tell them differently. Take what you like and leave the rest. In the end it doesn't really matter, as I get the sense that Indians, at least many upper class Indians, don't seem to care and the lower classes just don't know any better, what with Indian culture being so intense and pervasive on the sub-continent. But here goes, nonetheless.

India is a mess. It's that simple, but it's also quite complicated. I'll start with what I think are India 's four major problems - the four most preventing India from becoming a developing nation - and then move to some of the ancillary ones.

First, pollution. In my opinion the filth, squalor and all around pollution indicates a marked lack of respect for India by Indians. I don't know how cultural the filth is, but it's really beyond anything I have ever encountered. At times the smells, trash, refuse and excrement are like a garbage dump. Right next door to the Taj Mahal was a pile of trash that smelled so bad, was so foul as to almost ruin the entire Taj experience. Delhi , Bangalore and Chennai to a lesser degree were so very polluted as to make me physically ill.

Sinus infections, ear infection, bowels churning was an all to common experience in India . Dung, be it goat, cow or human fecal matter was common on the streets. In major tourist areas filth was everywhere, littering the sidewalks, the roadways, you name it. Toilets in the middle of the road, men urinating and defecating anywhere, in broad daylight. Whole villages are plastic bag wastelands. Roadsides are choked by it. Air quality that can hardly be called quality. Far too much coal and far too few unleaded vehicles on the road. The measure should be how dangerous the air is for one's health, not how good it is.

People casually throw trash in the streets, on the roads. The only two cities that could be considered sanitary in my journey were Trivandrum - the capital of Kerala - and Calicut . I don't know why this is. But I can assure you that at some point this pollution will cut into India 's productivity, if it already hasn't. The pollution will hobble India 's growth path, if that indeed is what the country wants. (Which I personally doubt, as India is far too conservative a country, in the small 'c' sense.)

The second issue, infrastructure, can be divided into four subcategories: roads, rails and ports and the electrical grid. The electrical grid is a joke. Load shedding is all too common, everywhere in India . Wide swaths of the country spend much of the day without the electricity they actually pay for. Without regular electricity, productivity, again, falls. The ports are a joke: antiquated, out of date, hardly even appropriate for the mechanized world of container ports, more in line with the days of longshoremen and the like.

Roads are an equal disaster. I only saw one elevated highway that would be considered decent in Thailand , much less Western Europe or America . And I covered fully two thirds of the country during my visit. There are so few dual carriage way roads as to be laughable. There are no traffic laws to speak of, and if there are, they are rarely obeyed, much less enforced. A drive that should take an hour takes three. A drive that should take three takes nine.

The buses are at least thirty years old, if not older. Everyone in India , or who travels in India raves about the railway system. Rubbish. It's awful. Now, when I was there in 2003 and then late 2004 it was decent. But in the last five years the traffic on the rails has grown so quickly that once again, it is threatening productivity. Waiting in line just to ask a question now takes thirty minutes. Routes are routinely sold out three and four days in advance now, leaving travellers stranded with little option except to take the decrepit and dangerous buses. At least fifty million people use the trains a day in India . 50 million people!

Not surprising that waitlists of 500 or more people are common now. The rails are affordable and comprehensive but they are overcrowded and what with budget airlines popping up in India like Sadhus in an ashram the middle and lowers classes are left to deal with the overutilized rails and quality suffers. No one seems to give a shit. Seriously, I just never have the impression that the Indian government really cares. Too interested in buying weapons from Russia , Israel and the US I guess.

The last major problem in India is an old problem and can be divided into two parts that've been two sides of the same coin since government was invented: bureaucracy and corruption. It takes triplicates to register into a hotel. To get a SIM card for one's phone is like wading into a jungle of red-tape and photocopies one is not likely to emerge from in a good mood, much less satisfied with customer service. Getting train tickets is a terrible ordeal, first you have to find the train number, which takes 30 minutes, then you have to fill in the form, which is far from easy, then you have to wait in line to try and make a reservation, which takes 30 minutes at least and if you made a single mistake on the form back you go to the end of the queue, or what passes for a queue in India.

The government is notoriously uninterested in the problems of the commoners, too busy fleecing the rich, or trying to get rich themselves in some way shape or form. Take the trash for example, civil rubbish collection authorities are too busy taking kickbacks from the wealthy to keep their areas clean that they don't have the time, manpower, money or interest in doing their job. Rural hospitals are perennially understaffed as doctors pocket the fees the government pays them, never show up at the rural hospitals and practice in the cities instead.

I could go on for quite some time about my perception of India and its problems, but in all seriousness, I don't think anyone in India really cares. And that, to me, is the biggest problem. India is too conservative a society to want to change in any way. Mumbai , India 's financial capital is about as filthy, polluted and poor as the worst city imaginable in Vietnam , or Indonesia - and being more polluted than Medan , in Sumatra is no easy task. The biggest rats I have ever seen were in Medan !

One would expect a certain amount of, yes, I am going to use this word, backwardness, in a country that hasn't produced so many Nobel Laureates, nuclear physicists, imminent economists and entrepreneurs. But India has all these things and what have they brought back to India with them? Nothing. The rich still have their servants, the lower castes are still there to do the dirty work and so the country remains in stasis. It's a shame. Indians and India have many wonderful things to offer the world, but I'm far from sanguine that India will amount to much in my lifetime.

Now, have at it, call me a cultural imperialist, a spoiled child of the West and all that. But remember, I've been there. I've done it... And I've seen 50 other countries on this planet and none, not even Ethiopia , have as long and gargantuan a laundry list of problems as India does.
And the bottom line is, I don't think India really cares. Too complacent and too conservative.


Sean Paul Kelley is a travel writer, former radio host, and before that an asset manager for a Wall Street investment bank that is still (barely) alive. He recently left a fantastic job in Singapore working for Solar Winds, a software company based out of Austin to travel around the world for a year (or two). He founded The Agonist, in 2002, which is still considered the top international affairs, culture and news destination for progressives. He is also the Global Correspondent for The Young Turks, on satellite radio and Air America .

12:33 AM

Lose weight now; Ask me how.

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Once upon a time there was weighing scale tucked away in a secluded corner of a cafeteria. The poor thing was never ever happy because it was a cause for peoples’ sorrows about their weight. Thousands would hop on it everyday and get down with worried faces. It felt that it was cursed never to make anybody happy. It would always cringe in fear when it was the day after a long weekend or festivals. People would binge on everything remotely edible and blame it for the accumulated weight. There was a person called KP who broke the pattern and smiled every time he stepped on it. They became very good friends and both of them lived happily ever after (separated later…but happy nevertheless)

The mini story is from a cafeteria of one of my previous organizations and I’m the friend. I’m aware that I’m very lean and underweight by a huge margin for my age and height. For most part of my adult life I’ve been mocked about this fact. But I’ve never felt bad about it. I’m used to being greeted with “Hi. Long time no see. You’ve become thinner is it?” when I meet somebody after a gap. I always reply with “I’m at the min limit. Losing weight is not possible.” Many would poke my flat tummy and try to ridicule me. I would do the same to their ‘family pack’ tummies. Some have advised me not to swat flies for I may break my bones. There was this guy who thought I would be so weak that he could fold me and break me into two. Everyone has the right to an opinion. So all I do is smile. Whenever the situation arose I’ve proved that it is not what you have that matters but what you can do with whatever you have that does.

At the time when Ghajini & OSO were released, people started the 6 pack SRK n 8 pack Aamir debate. What is the big deal? I’ve had 8 pack abs (4 of which are my ribs ) for as long as I can remember. I would have posted a pic but I’m sure not many would be interested in looking at my sexy midriff.

I’ve never revealed the secrets of how I’m the way I am so far. It’s time now. 3 simple rules is all there is to it.

Rule 1 : Eat because u have to, not because u can.

Eating is one of the most enjoyable things known to the human kind. Many try to enjoy it a bit too much. I like food as much as the next guy. Sometime I’ve surprised myself on what and how much I could eat. Eat anything you want but not as many times as you want. The ‘3 waqt ki roti’ is essential. But anything in between is what lines up under the skin.

Rule 2 : Walk because u can, not because you have to.

Given today’s myriad options for commuting, one really never has to walk outside the house. Even to go to the store at the end of the block people take out their vehicles. It may be a luxury to do so but not using the luxury doesn’t decrease your prestige. Walk whenever you can. That’s the simplest exercise you can do. It doesn’t make too much of a sense to take your car to the gym to burn off the fat you saved to go there. Take the stairs to your office. I’ve worked on 12th floor for 2 years and I’ve taken the stairs most of the times. If a skinny guy like me can do it so can you! And remember every time you walk you are reducing carbon emissions directly or indirectly.

Rule 3 : Donate Blood. Save lives. Help yourselves too.

Doctors always say that donating blood doesn’t deteriorate blood quality but improves it. The qty replenishes itself in 4 days…. blah blah blah. I know I’m hardly qualified to be talking about this. But something happens after you donate blood and you do lose weight till things stabilize in a month or so. My losing weight is impossible but I have lost weight every single time after a donation. So I had to stop doing it as frequently as I used to.

That’s it. Simple isn’t it?

There’s just one exception which overrides the success of these rules. Don’t be happy….. or be happy of gaining weight because you are happy! Happiness is often confused with laughter. By happiness I don’t mean being able to laugh. You may laugh when you feel good, nervous, jealous, angry, anxious, sarcastic….In my opinion laughter is the body language equivalent of the F word’s versatility in English. But happiness is …. ummm….diff to define it. It’s the feeling you get when you saw your lil sister or your kid for the first time or when you got the dream job against all odds or when you got your first kiss…. I’m sure you get my drift. The reasons for happiness are rarely repeatable and u can never express it interms of money. In today’s lifesyle chances of being happy are very rare. So unless you are one of the few lucky ones who is happy most of the time…follow the 3 rules and see the magic work!

Stay fit…Keep Walking! Cheers!

1:33 PM

The Answer (?)

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Although is was a rhetorical question, many answered it,
So many perspectives and yet it didn't help one bit.
Thinking about it again, all I have is a gigantic zit
And yet I'm at it; another blog with the answers knit.


Asked a guy who married his long time love.
Would be prefect coz he's living his dream now.
I was sure he would reinstate my faith somehow.
Listening to what he said, I ran away saying ‘Ciao!’.

Reminiscing about his bachelorhood he took me aside.
"Maccha, marriage is 'self-induced voluntary suicide'.©
If u are thinking of it, you are better off drinking pesticide.
Do you really want to go down that road..... you decide!

Before getting married I was an optimistic believer.
I used to wake up happy everyday, keen to see her.
To each other nobody else in the world was dearer.
Now we irritate the other. She shouts, I only murmur.

Not to mention numerous problems with the in-laws.
Their ultimate goal in life is to find in me flaws.
Stuck btwn them & my wife I’ve become tomato sauce.
My experience says it’s a loss…Peace goes for a toss.

Talking about all of this has been a stress reliever
If you are seeing somebody, please leave her.
Love is quite difficult...not really worth the trouble.
If that was your dream, sorry to burst your bubble.”


Reading "The ?" A married friend cringed in fear.
Poor guy hardly managed to hold back a tear.
Out of concern for me he unfurled his married life;
Told me his experiences at home, with his wife.

"Initially it's nice, cozy, leaving hickeys on each other's necks,
You will get closer to eachother. She invites you to have sex!
A few months later asking for it again will get you her vex.
U wonder where's ur wife when she shows the fury of a T-Rex.

Marriage is a prison..... The price is your soul;
the most expensive deal to get access to a hole.
It'll puzzle you what tuned ur bride into a ghoul.
Deal broken, u’ll have cold showers and a stroll."


A western guy's opinion, with which, I couldn't quite agree.
"We find a girl, pursue, date for 2 years and live-in for three.
Till we can, we have all the fun. If there's trouble we flee.
That's how it works here... We are a developed country.

If the chemistry continues, we get married, seal it with a kiss.
We break it up with a divorce if ever the fun goes amiss.
All problems solved. Can it get any better than this?
Trust me dude it's the only way to have marital bliss!"


Married women had nothing to say, those who read were few.
Am sure spinsters had an opinion, but nobody gave me their view.
Probly for 'em too it is scary, but like having ‘Mountain Dew’.... (Darr ke aage jeet hai)
Marriage is good for them(?); their power on men will renew.


Saw what Kramer has to say. Wrong.. wasn’t he?
Is it necessary to ask your wife even to pee?!?
At dinner will it be a gross sin to watch the TV
Koi to batao. Such mein aisi hoti hai kya biwi?

The guy who married his love, rang his wedding bell
says it’s wothless. I’m better off jumping into a well.
The 1 who married the old fashioned way calls it hell.
So far nobody has said anything for the idea to sell.

Is marriage just a social arrangement for sexual favour?
Come-on ppl. Somebody give it more positive flavour!
As of now marriage sounds risky… without the fervour.
Enough already! No more feedbacks. I think I got a fever.


Tears... Sorry....Cheers!


11:46 PM

My First Crush

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I had to do something monotonous at work today and it was very very very boring. My mind was idle.....so put a few words together. I know it is stupid - dumb - childish etc etc. But as the saying goes "What's the point in being an adult if you can't act childish once in awhile". Those of you who hold back your comments after reading this trying not to be rude...bring it on!




Saw a couple cuddling in the traffic rush,
it refreshed memories of my first crush.
Her name was twinkle, she was my star.
She was the prettiest girl I had seen so far.

It was love at first sight when our eyes met.
I don't know if I was a victim or a target.
Looking at her, my heart started to quiver,
I broke into cold sweat and anxious shiver.

I wanted to talk to her; what to say I had no clue.
Tongue tied, I ended up complimenting her shoe.
The compliment brought out the cutest smile.
It drove me bonkers. Man!! Was I juvenile.

I wanted to confess my love, but was very shy.
I did not want to give it up without a try.
Mustering courage, I had to express how I felt,
Her knees went week when in front of her I knelt.

She accepted my love and felt the same,
It was that moment which shot me to fame.
Later she gave me an innocent kiss,
I swear, a couple of heart beats I did miss!

My friends congratulated me on my catch,
Everyone agreed that we were a perfect match.
We would sit hand in hand on the lawn,
Hoping we could stay that way dusk to dawn.

We thought of marriage when things got serious
But our parents thought we were getting delirious
We hatched a plan, deciding to run from home,
Didn’t matter where we end up: USA or Rome.

At the scheduled hour I was in the bus stand,
desperately waiting for her hand in my hand.
She never came and I was heart broken,
My life changed completely, rudely awoken.

Hunted & found, to my house I was dragged,
I cried my eyes out till they actually sagged.
Her name was twinkle, she was my star.
Story is old; Now she's a mother of chaar (4)

All of this happened was when I was 6 and she was 8
We were forbidden even to go out of the gate.
We couldn’t cross the road, let alone elope,
Trying it after growing up was the only hope.

Now she’s married and has a husband,
I’m happy for them, for he’s my best friend.
We recall this incident and laugh our heads off,
Our innocence as kids is indeed a reason to scoff

Their youngest kid is a chubby lil baby girl,
with cute dimples and bushy hair that curl
Her name is dimple, now she is my star.
She’s the prettiest girl I’ve seen so far.

Theers!!


Like I said..it ain't no work of Rudyard Kipling!

It's a poem originating from a random inkling.




It has been exactly one year since I wrote this one. At that point of time, time was really against me and things went from bad to worse. It was appraisal season and things did not happen the way I expected it to. The situation seemed absolutely hopeless, especially after having turned down a decent job offer. My morale was really down and being confused about what to do next, I started thinking.......and this just came out.



Joining a company as a new recuit,
u r thinking…”my education bore a fruit”.


U are enthu about everything under the sun,
life has just begun; u start to earn, it’s fun!
You start afresh, take an oath to be the best,
being mediocre….ah…that’s for the rest.


Whatever it takes, you’ll do to learn,
in the process mid night oil you’ll burn.
You will utilise your full potential
thinking, success is quintessential.


You are very happy, a resident of cloud # 9,
evenings are spent with friends, u wine and dine.
You start every day with a dedication pristine.


A few months into the daily grind,
whatever happens you don’t really mind.
Eventually reality begins to hit you hard,
banquets become lonely strolls on MG Boulevard.


So it continues; Pretty soon it is appraisal season,
someone else is promoted, for no particular reason.
U congratulate him with half hearted, artificial smiles,
but happiness is far away, not in meters but miles.


Confronting ur boss with “why was the promotion not mine?”
He replies “U were very good, productive and fine.
U are definitely in line. Better luck next time.”
End of debate; you come out feeling hurt,
with the feeling of living the life of Dilbert!!


With a sinking feeling, u try to hide behind smoke.
Sometimes, the smoke gets replaced booze n dope.
In-vain, friends try to instill rays of hope.


You look back and start to wonder,
what went wrong, is on what you ponder.
Nothing helps when you’re thinking retro,
u r victimised by the fast paced life in a metro.


Smoking, u see ur reflection round the bend,
U think, what am I doing, it’s not the world’s end!!
U’re ruining ur own life is what you comprehend.


For a new job, on naukri and jobstreet u will hunt,
in office, all you do is throw tantrums and grunt.
Entangled amidst people passing the buck,
your pet phrase becomes "What the F*@#!"


One fine day, smiling on you, is lady luck,
A golden opportunity to get out of this muck.
The offer is good, not worth too much of thought,
Anyway, u’ll do anything to get out of this draught.



You have a feeling of having the battle won,
But the fact is that you are back to square one!
Again, u will go thru the same situation,
but this time in a different location.


I'd heard someone say, career is like your wife,
take charge of it or it'll control your life.
Choose what you want to be, n make it ur destination.
Realise that u work for urself, not for the organisation.




Cheers!