12:33 AM

Lose weight now; Ask me how.


Once upon a time there was weighing scale tucked away in a secluded corner of a cafeteria. The poor thing was never ever happy because it was a cause for peoples’ sorrows about their weight. Thousands would hop on it everyday and get down with worried faces. It felt that it was cursed never to make anybody happy. It would always cringe in fear when it was the day after a long weekend or festivals. People would binge on everything remotely edible and blame it for the accumulated weight. There was a person called KP who broke the pattern and smiled every time he stepped on it. They became very good friends and both of them lived happily ever after (separated later…but happy nevertheless)

The mini story is from a cafeteria of one of my previous organizations and I’m the friend. I’m aware that I’m very lean and underweight by a huge margin for my age and height. For most part of my adult life I’ve been mocked about this fact. But I’ve never felt bad about it. I’m used to being greeted with “Hi. Long time no see. You’ve become thinner is it?” when I meet somebody after a gap. I always reply with “I’m at the min limit. Losing weight is not possible.” Many would poke my flat tummy and try to ridicule me. I would do the same to their ‘family pack’ tummies. Some have advised me not to swat flies for I may break my bones. There was this guy who thought I would be so weak that he could fold me and break me into two. Everyone has the right to an opinion. So all I do is smile. Whenever the situation arose I’ve proved that it is not what you have that matters but what you can do with whatever you have that does.

At the time when Ghajini & OSO were released, people started the 6 pack SRK n 8 pack Aamir debate. What is the big deal? I’ve had 8 pack abs (4 of which are my ribs ) for as long as I can remember. I would have posted a pic but I’m sure not many would be interested in looking at my sexy midriff.

I’ve never revealed the secrets of how I’m the way I am so far. It’s time now. 3 simple rules is all there is to it.

Rule 1 : Eat because u have to, not because u can.

Eating is one of the most enjoyable things known to the human kind. Many try to enjoy it a bit too much. I like food as much as the next guy. Sometime I’ve surprised myself on what and how much I could eat. Eat anything you want but not as many times as you want. The ‘3 waqt ki roti’ is essential. But anything in between is what lines up under the skin.

Rule 2 : Walk because u can, not because you have to.

Given today’s myriad options for commuting, one really never has to walk outside the house. Even to go to the store at the end of the block people take out their vehicles. It may be a luxury to do so but not using the luxury doesn’t decrease your prestige. Walk whenever you can. That’s the simplest exercise you can do. It doesn’t make too much of a sense to take your car to the gym to burn off the fat you saved to go there. Take the stairs to your office. I’ve worked on 12th floor for 2 years and I’ve taken the stairs most of the times. If a skinny guy like me can do it so can you! And remember every time you walk you are reducing carbon emissions directly or indirectly.

Rule 3 : Donate Blood. Save lives. Help yourselves too.

Doctors always say that donating blood doesn’t deteriorate blood quality but improves it. The qty replenishes itself in 4 days…. blah blah blah. I know I’m hardly qualified to be talking about this. But something happens after you donate blood and you do lose weight till things stabilize in a month or so. My losing weight is impossible but I have lost weight every single time after a donation. So I had to stop doing it as frequently as I used to.

That’s it. Simple isn’t it?

There’s just one exception which overrides the success of these rules. Don’t be happy….. or be happy of gaining weight because you are happy! Happiness is often confused with laughter. By happiness I don’t mean being able to laugh. You may laugh when you feel good, nervous, jealous, angry, anxious, sarcastic….In my opinion laughter is the body language equivalent of the F word’s versatility in English. But happiness is …. ummm….diff to define it. It’s the feeling you get when you saw your lil sister or your kid for the first time or when you got the dream job against all odds or when you got your first kiss…. I’m sure you get my drift. The reasons for happiness are rarely repeatable and u can never express it interms of money. In today’s lifesyle chances of being happy are very rare. So unless you are one of the few lucky ones who is happy most of the time…follow the 3 rules and see the magic work!

Stay fit…Keep Walking! Cheers!


Santhosh Mugoor (ಸಂk) said...

When did you became swamy bor-kar-ananda ??

your funda is not working for me..may be i am one of the exception !!

adb said...

You are one of the few lucky ones I guess...be happy that you are always happy. Living it up to your name :P