Lost in thought about something, I was jay walking inside ITPB and one of the security guards said “ Ekshoe me please. Walk on footpath" I’d heard the English like language that the security guys in our campus speak many times. Most of them being bihari, I give them full marks for trying. This time I decided to correct his Ekshoe me to excuse me. He took it in the right sense, repeated it a couple of times and I went on my way happy with what I’d done. Few hours later, on my way back home I heard the same ekshoe me please from the same guy. By all probabilities he was an uneducated guy who came out from ‘the darkness’ to make a decent living here. But is the attitude towards being corrected unique? Not quite.
Many ppl joke about how the British ran away from India unable to bear the Indian version of English. Many times it sounds so true. We have it our minds that we know whatever there is to know in the language and what we know is right. Even if someone tries to correct our mistakes, we either resent it or ignore it.
If you keep your ears open long enough, you are bound to be treated to many hilarious statements, be it in office, school, college or outside.
Last week during my appraisals I was told that my raise will commenstruate to my performance wrt others.
Many ppl joke about how the British ran away from India unable to bear the Indian version of English. Many times it sounds so true. We have it our minds that we know whatever there is to know in the language and what we know is right. Even if someone tries to correct our mistakes, we either resent it or ignore it.
If you keep your ears open long enough, you are bound to be treated to many hilarious statements, be it in office, school, college or outside.
Last week during my appraisals I was told that my raise will commenstruate to my performance wrt others.
I was chasing someone for a critical deadline that we had to meet. She apologized and requested for a few more days. I was grumbling about the delay and she said her team was short of ppl and she was humping her bust all alone for my requirement. It took me a loooot of self-control not to laugh on her face.
Somebody was giving me feedback about problems he faced especially due to a sensor which was giving out erotic signals. “You mean erratic?” I ask him and he says “No. No. Erotic”. Well…people have their fetishes. Who am I to comment on it?
Recently I had to get some forms signed by a big shot and I gave them to his secretary and requested her to get it done. She said “After it is done, pls come and collect me” I couldn’t resist saying “I’d rather collect the forms”. She didn’t understand what I meant.
I had some problems with my internet connection and had called customer care. Somewhere during the call, in my effort to over emphasize I had said ‘it is as brand as new’. I don’t think the other person realized my mistake, but neither did I, until mom pointed it out. On the same call I was asked to plug the network cable into my back side and check if it is blinking. I asked “What should I check?” “Check if your back side is blinking Sir.” Why the hell will my back side blink?!?!? Difficult to explain that backside, rear and behind are not the same.
Last one… A telephone conversation I heard between a guy trying to reserve a room for himself in USA and the receptionist (Mindy) on speaker phone.
Jay : Is the reservation pukka?
Mindy : Excuse me?
Jay : Reservation confirmed?
Mindy : Yes Sir. I’ll send you a confirmation mail if you want. Mail id pls.
Jay : Ok. Take down. Jayesh@mail.com
Mindy: How do you spell that?
Jay : J-A-Y-E…
Mindy : Sir. I’m unable to understand. Pls spell it phonetically.
Jay: Eh? What is this?
Gets an explanation and tries to implement it
Jay : J for Jaipur
Mindy : What?!?
Jay : Err… J for Jack, A for hafill
Mindy : Excuse me. What?
Jay : Hafil pa…red phruit. A-P-P-L-E
Mindy : Phonetically pls.
Jay : Ok. A for America, P for parrot, P for yet another parrot, L for Latin, E for Europe….. Did you get it.
Mindy : Ok. So what do we have so far. JAPPLE@mail.com?
Jay : No no… Jayesh@mail.com
Mindy : #%@$&#
Jay : What happen?
Mindy : Sir. Pls send us an email. We will reply with the confirmation. Good Day!
Obviously the names are fake but with the same initial letters. But imagine this conversation on a speaker phone and the guy with a thick South Indian accent. People who could hear were literally ROTFL. He finishes the call oblivious to the laughter around him and joins us in our laughter!
In such cases, it is impossible not to have been corrected or being unaware of occasional mistakes. I’ve tried correcting many in a subtle way. Some defend themselves... saying…big deal! I still understood what they were trying to convey. Others get offended and yet do not correct the mistakes. There’s a particular friend whom I see online many times but am scared to initiate a chat. Reading the received chat text is like solving a puzzle. No punctuation, too many spelling mistakes and misplaced spaces. On complaining, earlier it was ‘I’m like this only. Pls adjust”. Now it is “After such a long time you must have been used it” I’ve almost given up. I know for sure that this person can write properly.
I’m not trying to highlight the mutilation of the language, but the casual attitude we have towards things. So the next time someone points out a mistake, realize that it’s not a jab at your ego. It just means they have not given up on you and think that you can do better.
After reading all of this if you find anything erotic, pls do let me know. And if I’ve said something wrong, please ekshoes me.
Cheers!
1 comments:
:)
I give fool support in your yeffort to correct the erotic language of peepal!!!
Post a Comment